postmodern tucson

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

lil' abner's arguably 'greatest restaurant of all time,' lucio boldly displays his testicles on dining room table


MARANA, ARIZONA-- Lil' Abner's may have just surpassed Crepeville as the greatest restaurant of all time, sources (read: Adam, Amanda, Karin, Lauren, Lucio, Jeff, Laura) report.

No, really, I'm quite serious. This shit was amazing.

Now, I'm not much of a red meat eater, but exceptions must be made in cases like these. I had been hearing about Lil' Abner's for several years now, ever since my buddy Eric started at the UA as an undergrad.

Lil' Abner's is way out of town. Way out of town, a good ten miles northwest of Tucson. It's a little smokehouse in the middle of the Arizona desert. Eerily enough, you can SMELL Lil' Abner's before you see it.

After sitting down and contemplating an extensive, detailed menu (one page, single sided), I ordered a 7 oz. filet, a modest yet exquisitely flavorful (dare I say 'tangy'?) cut of beef, which was lovingly accompanied by a salad, baked beans, baked potato and garlic toast. Amanda's a vegetarian, but she swears she had the best damn baked potato of her life... right, Amanda? Important to note here that sour cream for the potatoes was dispensed in these clever fortune-cookie shaped packages. Thanks, Rod!

Lucio really laid his manhood out on the table when he proceeded to order "The Cowboy" (see pictured), the crown jewel of the Lil' Abner's menu-- bar none the most expensive and largest cut of meat sold: a 2 LB. T-Bone steak. No exaggeration.

After we voraciously extinguished our fiery, carniverous urges, Jeff, Lucio and I extinguished not one-- but two!!-- pint-sized ice cream sundaes. As if that weren't enough, the crew hopped back in our cars and paid a long-awaited visit to the Branding Iron Bar, (formerly known as 'Country Western Bar,' affectionarely known as 'The Borat Bar') which, incidentally, was not that far away from Lil' Abners. Borat himself was no where to be found, and I, consequentially, was saved from any well-throwing.

19 Comments:

Anonymous Amanda said...

"best" baked potato might be taking it too far (that honor is held by the now defunct San Antonio eatery, Planet Potato), but yes, I loved that they were liberal with the sour cream!! And you forgot the complimentary rib bones and baby pacifier!!

9:59 PM  
Anonymous Cory S. said...

I wish I could have been there. Lord knows that I need 2 lbs. of steak in my belly. I see that the bar that you went to had no Borat, but was there no karaoke that you guys could sing to? Or better yet, why not make up your own anti-semitic songs to sing while at the bar?

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Anonymous dan said...

the borat bar?!?!?!?

i am kinda pissed you didnt take me there.

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Anonymous Master Laura said...

Adam, I think you missed your calling. You're obviously a budding journalist.
One warning to future Lil' Abner patrons: watch out for the precarious risk of random greasy ribs on the floor. I nearly had the chance to file a hefty lawsuit...
I close with a Lil' Abner aphorism: "If you're smokin', you better be on fire."

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